Grown-Up's Guide
Pip's Feelings Club · Episode 17: The Mean Name
"How would I feel?"Ask it before you say it
"That's not a kind name."When you hear one
"It wasn't kind. I'm sorry."When one has slipped out
The steps from the episode
Stop before you say it → Step into their footprints (imagine you are them) → Ask, "How would I feel?" Then choose kind words. Words can hurt even when they are meant to be funny, and the ouch is inside, where nobody can see it. In the episode Pip's sorry helps, but Rory says, "It still hurts a bit." A sorry does not take the ouch away at once.
Doing a sheet
Watch the episode together first: scan the code on Sheet 1, or visit pipsfeelingsclub.com. A calm 10 minutes, never as a consequence. You read the comic, your child does the pens. These pages never print the mean names, and you don't need to say them either: "a mean name" is enough. Finish with a play card.
What to talk about
Sheet
Ask them
Do together
How Would I Feel?
"How did Rory feel inside?"
"Could Pip see the grey cloud?"
"Was it all gone after the sorry?"
Draw the faces together. Take turns saying one thing you like about each other.
Words Can Hurt
"What did Pip say to Kip?"
"Which words warm a heart?"
"Who could you tell?"
Name two grown-ups they could tell if someone keeps calling them names.
When a mean name slips out
1. Stay calm. "Stop. That name hurts."
2. "How would you feel if it was you?"
3. Later, help them say a kind sorry.
When they're stormy
Wait. Talk when the storm is small.
Check on the child who was hurt first.
Don't say the name back to them.
Do it out loud yourself
"I nearly said something grumpy."
"How would I feel? Hmm. Not good."
"I'll say it a kinder way."
Catch them doing it well
"That was a kind thing to say."
"You stopped and thought first."
"You stuck up for your friend."
Try to avoid
"It was only a joke." Jokes can hurt too.
"Sticks and stones." Words do hurt.
A sorry before they are ready to mean it.
Every day (2 minutes)
At dinner: one kind thing about each person.
"Did any words feel ouchy today?"
"Did any words feel warm?"